Brainy is Badass, Too

When I was browsing Twitter the other day, I happened to come across a tweet from TIME Magazine that was pushing an article called "Girl Power: 10 Terrific Teen Heroines in Movies" (you can read the article for yourself here). Being a feminist who enjoys a good list, I clicked on the link. There are some good picks in there - Juno, Tracy Turnblad of Hairspray, and Katniss Everdeen of The Hunger Games make appearances. But there was one heroine I thought that would be there that wasn't, and I was disappointed to see her missing from the list, since she's my favorite character in literature and on film.

Hermione Granger didn't make the list. Which is a shame, because she's pretty awesome. Now, I'm not dissing that Katniss is pretty badass for inciting and aiding a rebellion against a tyrannical government (and surviving the horror that is the Hunger Games), or discounting Tracy Turnblad and the way she fights for integration, but TIME, you should have included Hermione for all the girls who feel more comfortable being brainy than being a badass, kick-butt kind of girl. 

Now, if you know anything about me, you know that the Harry Potter series is my favorite book series of all time (I promise, it is purely coincidental that I came up with the idea for this post today, on JK Rowling's & Harry's birthdays, though it is a very happy coincidence). I reread the series all the time, I have all the books in print and e-book format, and I bought Order of the Phoenix, Half-Blood Prince, and Deathly Hallows at midnight when they came out (or had them ordered straight to my door) and then stayed up all night reading them (I think I finished Half-Blood Prince in twelve hours). It is my favorite not only because I grew up with the series (Sorcerer's Stone came out in the US in 1998, when I was beginning to read chapter books), but because the writing is fantastic, and the themes of love, acceptance, overcoming prejudice and hate, and doing what is right even when it is the most difficult are great and reach far beyond the classification of Children's/Young Adult literature. 

I also love Harry Potter because it gave me a heroine I could finally relate too. Hermione Granger is the brightest witch of her age, and grows throughout the books to become a strong, intelligent woman (17 is of age in the Wizarding World, you know) and is the glue that holds the trio together. She's not known for being the prettiest girl around, but she is known for her ridiculous intelligence, for spending most of her time in the library, and for having the first hand in the air whenever a teacher asks a question. I remember discovering Hermione in elementary school and thinking, "She's just like me!" 

"We wouldn't last two days without her" - Ron Weasley, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

I remember reading about her bushy hair and thinking about how my own never likes to do what I want it to do (what I wouldn't give to make Sleakeazy's Hair Potion a real thing), or reading about Draco Malfoy doing a buck-toothed impression of her and thinking about how, before I had braces, my own front teeth were a little big (and had a gap I could fit a straw through. No joke. Braces are a great thing). I wasn't comfortable with the way I looked until I was in high school. But Hermione gave me a character that I could relate to, anyway, who was more about her brain than her looks. 

Hermione is my favorite character of all time because she is smart and she's not afraid to let everyone know it.

She's brainy and she's bookish and I love it. While I wasn't comfortable with my appearance for a loooonnnggg time, I was comfortable with the fact that I had a brain that I wasn't afraid to use. Like Hermione, I was one of the weirdos that actually enjoyed school and learning (don't remind me that I'm actually not starting classes in 3 weeks). I would rather spend all my time in the library, finding a good book or doing some research on something I find interesting, than anything else. I'd rather read than watch TV or a movie. My Kindle goes everywhere with me (you never know when you might be stuck somewhere with nothing to do, you  know), and before I had a Kindle, I constantly had a book with me. I remember taking books to restaurants when my family would go out to eat and reading while waiting on our food to arrive (sorry Mom and Dad, that was probably weird for you guys). 

I don't relate to badasses like Katniss, who can handle a bow and arrow, hunt to keep her family from starvation, and lead a rebellion against the government (I am a shy introvert, don't look at me to lead a movement). I too, like Tracy, have causes that I will fight tooth and nail for, but I hate confrontation and am terrified, a lot of the time, of speaking out in public (I'm introverted and proud, but also cursed with shyness. Sigh). But that's okay, because I've got Hermione. I understand her need to consult a book first. I understand how she feels for being picked on for having her hand up first during class. But Hermione is a strong female character that I relate to, and I love that Rowling made her a bookworm with bushy hair and buckteeth, because that's the way I am, too. Thanks, JK Rowling, for finally giving the brainy, bookish girls a main character and a heroine, someone who drives the action and helps defeat evil, bushy hair, buck teeth, big-brained and all. 

So, TIME Entertainment, I think you forgot a pretty important female heroine for your list. Hermione Granger proves brainy is badass, too. 

Life's Not Fair: Those Moments when You Realize You Really are an Adult

This post is a little different from the ones I usually write, partly because it's not about my job (which I still love), though it is about being an adult and being a part of the real world. It is about the icky moments of adulthood, the ones where you realize that, if you were still a kid, you wouldn't be facing these issues head on (and I'm not talking about bills, though those are no fun). It is about aging, and illness, and forgetting. It is about the time you realize you are an adult because you have to tell a grandparent that they can no longer go home. It is about the time you realize you are an adult when you have to help pick out a nursing home for a grandparent, because it has become impossible to care for them full-time at home. It is about my experiences with Alzheimer's Disease.

Most of you know that I lost two grandparents to Alzheimer's Disease, my Granny (Mom's mom) and Grandpa (Dad's dad). They were diagnosed when I was in middle school, and both passed away about 6 months apart, during the spring semester of my freshman year and fall semester of my sophomore year of college. I watched, for about 7 years, as my grandparents that I loved dearly faded away, watched as their personalities changed and their memories were taken away. Watching someone you love go through Alzheimer's Disease is, I believe, the most heartbreaking, gut-wrenching things you will ever experience. And I am experiencing the process again, this time as my husband's family goes through it. And let me tell you, even though it's the third time for me on this roller coaster ride, it doesn't get any easier.

One of the most heartbreaking things about Alzheimer's Disease, besides the fact that it takes away the things that make people human, is the fact that it is a death sentence. You don't see purple ribbon car magnets emblazoned with a proud, script Survivor, because there are no Alzheimer's survivors. Once you have the diagnosis, that's it. It is the only leading cause of death in the United States with no cure and no way to even slow down it's relentless progress (a fact I keep repeating because I absolutely cannot believe it, and a fact I will continue to repeat until it changes). When a person you love has Alzheimer's Disease, you lose them twice: once, when their personalities change and their memories fade while their body carries on, not knowing that the brain that keeps it going is slowly dying, and once again when their bodies finally decide they are done.

My Granny was the most independent person I have ever met in my life, and Alzheimer's took that from her. She had to be dependent on others, she could no longer live alone, and she could no longer drive (I will never forget when we had to take the keys to her Buick Riviera away from her). My Grandpa was the most social person I have ever known. He never knew a stranger - there is a picture of all the Elsten cousins in Gatlinburg, and in the corner of the frame you can see Grandpa talking to someone we have never met. Alzheimer's Disease made him silent.

They say that you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. Alzheimer's puts that to the test, when your granny, after just hugging you goodbye, tells your mom that you need to come see her more often. Alzheimer's tests that when your grandpa can't come up with your name when he sees your face or your senior pictures. Alzheimer's tests that when your grandmother, who has never had a temper in her life, gets angry, raises her voice, and tells you that she never wants to talk to you again. You realize you are an adult at those moments when your strength is tested, when you have to blink back tears  when you tell someone you love that you're sorry they are alone, that you wish you could stay longer, that they can't go home anymore. You realize you have joined the real world, with all its cruelty, when you have to keep your voice from quivering when you have to tell your grandparent that "It's me, Courtney, your granddaughter" when you go to visit and they don't recognize you.

But you also realize you are an adult when you realize you can do something about it. You can push for change. You can use that newly found strength to fight for a cure. You can use that persistence to keep fighting, because it will be a long fight, and giving up is not an option. You will fight until Alzheimer's Disease is no longer a death sentence, until it is just a phrase that used to be scary. You will wear purple, and you will email your senators and representatives, and you will advocate for those who can no longer advocate for themselves because it's on both sides of your family, and you will not go down this path again. You will fight because you are an adult, a big kid, and you can help end Alzheimer's Disease.

If you are interested in helping fight Alzheimer's Disease, I invite you to visit the Walk to End Alzheimer's page for my Walk team, Team Angel at http://act.alz.org/goto/teamangel. This is my third year walking, and I will keep walking every year until Alzheimer's Disease, itself, is a memory. I will talk about it until my voice goes out, and that won't stop me because I'll write about it (and, let's be honest, I write better than I talk, anyway). The end of Alzheimer's Disease begins with me, begins with all of us, and we can make change happen.